sorry, but i can't pretend to be okay anymore. & i can't pretend to be strong anymore. because i'm not. i am a weak, pathetic and ignorant piece of shit. i am worthless. why would i let myself get that close to a guy? why? why would i ever let a man touch me like that? why would i ever force myself to touch him back? i am fucking STUPID. i should have known you'd use me. i should have known you'd do this. after all the years i've known you and i didn't stop myself? i am an idiot.
and you. you're murdering fucking bitch. how dare you get out of jail early? you were in for barely two fucking years and you fucking killed my best friend. if it wasn't for her i wouldnt be the same person that i am. and you fucking killed her. you killed my best friend and all you say is that you're sorry? you're SORRY?! I LOST THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU. she was there for me 24/7. shit, she was WITH ME almost just as much, and now shes not even on this fucking planet because of you. her body is in a fucking ditch 6 ft under and it's all your fault, and you're just going to run away?
no. fuck that. i'm so sick and tired of trying to act like everything is okay. everything is not okay. i am a broken soul.
The first paragraph is making me sick.
ReplyDeleteBecause of thing things you're saying about yourself.
You are not weak. You are not stupid. You are not worthless.
take. it. back.
All of us have dealt with an Alex of our own. And there is no reason he should be making you feel this way about yourself. He is the worthless, stupid, weak person. Not you. He gave up something amazing. And you hooked up with a douchebag. You know better than anyone that life will go on.
And he'll get his.
^ What Maddie said. All of it.
ReplyDelete